What She Saw In Me — by Dan Lynn
By Dan Lynn
One of my bosses back at AT&T, Mary Upchurch, shaped my career in many ways. But there's one thing about Mary that mattered more than all the rest.
Mary was the first person to see more potential in me than I saw in myself.
I always worked hard — that part was never in question. But hard work and belief are two different things. I didn't yet have the confidence to imagine how far I might go. Mary did. She saw something in me before I could see it myself, and she treated me like it was already true.
And here's the strange, powerful thing about that: you tend to live up to the potential that other people see in you. Her belief didn't just feel good — it changed what I believed was possible. My confidence grew. And she didn't stop at encouragement; she sponsored me for the Rutgers Executive MBA program, opening a door I might never have walked through on my own. That gave me even more confidence still.
From there, I began to achieve my career goals. Not because I suddenly worked harder — I'd always worked hard — but because I finally had the confidence to match the effort. And with that confidence came something bigger: the nerve to pursue my dreams.
I think about Mary often, and about how much of what came later traces back to one person choosing to believe in me.
So here's what I'd leave you with. If a Mary Upchurch shows up in your life — someone who sees more in you than you see in yourself — listen to them. Let their belief do its work.
And if you're ever in a position to be a Mary Upchurch for someone else, do it. Tell people what you see in them. Open the door. Sponsor them. You may never know which of your words becomes the moment someone's whole life begins to change.
Questions this Key Learning answers
What do I do when my boss sees more potential in me?
The author’s lesson is to listen when a trusted person sees more potential than feels visible from within. Dan Lynn allowed Mary Upchurch’s belief—and her decision to sponsor him for an executive MBA program—to expand what he thought possible. Our analysis suggests treating credible confidence as evidence worth acting on until personal confidence catches up.
How can I help a talented colleague build confidence?
The author encourages leaders to tell capable people what potential they genuinely see, then open a door for them. Encouragement mattered to Dan, but Mary Upchurch also created a concrete opportunity by sponsoring him. Our analysis describes this as putting real influence behind belief through an introduction, recommendation, or opportunity.
What is the difference between mentoring and sponsoring someone?
Our analysis says mentors offer perspective, while sponsors use their standing to recommend someone, create access, and put their judgment behind that person. Mary Upchurch did both: she recognized Dan Lynn’s potential and sponsored him for an executive MBA program. That opportunity helped convert her confidence in him into confidence he could act on.