What Kind of Leader Will You Be During The Tough Times? — by Dan Lynn

By Dan Lynn

I had a great boss at AT&T named Mary Upchurch. I learned a lot from her — lessons I've carried through my whole career.

During one of our downsizings, I had to let someone go. It was one of the hardest things I'd had to do as a young leader. Mary gave me a piece of advice I've never forgotten.

She said: "As a leader, you will always be remembered for how you are during the tough times."

Not the good times. Anyone can lead when the numbers are up, the team is winning, and everyone's happy. That's easy. Real leadership shows up in the hard moments — the layoff, the failure, the crisis, the day you have to look someone in the eye and deliver news that changes their life.

That's when people are watching most closely. The person across the table from you will remember how you treated them for the rest of their life. And so will everyone else on the team — because they're all quietly asking themselves the same question: if it were me, how would I be treated?

I've thought about Mary's words in every difficult moment of my career, and I've passed them on to more leaders and mentees than I can count. Because she was right. You are not defined by how you show up when it's easy. You're defined — and remembered — by who you are when it's hard.

So ask yourself, before the tough time comes — because it will: who are you going to be?