The Power of Intentions – Part Five: Precision — by Elazar Aslan

By Elazar Aslan

A client of mine received an evaluation she felt was unfair. She had a meeting coming up to give her feedback, so we prepared by going through her intentions the way I always do: all of them, on the table, the clear ones and the hidden ones, the noble ones and the shameful ones.

Her lead intention was simple. She wanted to tell her manager that her evaluation was unfair. Underneath it sat a few more: to protest his inaccurate conclusions, to keep her career moving, to get back inside management's inner circle, where she had once been. All legitimate but pulling in slightly different directions. Then, as we clarified her intentions, she asked to change one word: She no longer wanted to tell her manager how she felt. She wanted her manager to know how she felt.

That was the entire intervention. One word. Telling is a natural intention, but when you think about it, who are you serving when you are telling someone something they cannot hear? Speak with even the slightest tone of anger and they will respond to the anger. Her energy shifted from anger to openness before our conversation ended, and in that alignment, she created the conditions for a conversation instead of a confrontation with her manager. After the meeting she reported back. "It was the first time he saw me."

I have watched this many times. Intentions launch our actions. If the aim is a few degrees off at the start, by the end of the action you are a long way from where you meant to be. But the reverse is also true: a small correction at the beginning, before a single word is spoken, changes where the whole thing lands. Most of us rehearse what we are going to say. Very few of us check to see how we are aligned in all that we are trying to do.

Read all five parts of Intentions and add this powerful tool to your toolkit